Review of Series Part 2

THE POWER OF RELATIONSHIPS

The life of believing is based on relationships- Pastor T. Ncanana

We see the power of relationships in the passage of scripture found in Ruth chapter 1. These three women demonstrate the power and levels of relationships. We see how obedience and loyalty in relationships are rewarded in the end. Looking at the relationship that Naomi and Ruth had, we see how Ruth positioned herself through the relationship she had with Naomi. By doing so she was rewarded for her faithfulness and obedience.

Naomi and Ruth had the type of relationship that can be described as an inner court relationship. Ruth clung to Naomi because she could see that Naomi was blessed. Naomi although she had gone to the Moab nation because she obeyed her husband, remembered where she began.

Naomi had suffered because of the decision that was taken by her husband Elimelech to go to Moab- a cursed nation. They left Bethlehem Judah, which was the house of bread, because of the season of famine it was in. This means that you can be in a blessed place/nation and not experience its provision and wealth. Many people want wealth but they do not want to know HOW they can make wealth.

Moab was a cursed nation, where people sacrificed their children to worship other gods and fathers slept with their own children. Naomi experience hardships and pain, she didn’t enjoy being in that nation. In the process she lost her husband, and two sons. Naomi blames God for her troubles. Naomi’s heart is at Bethlehem even though she was at the Moab nation. Naomi hears the news from back home in Bethlehem and she decides to go back. All things end in the beginning. Discover who you are in the beginning because your end is in the beginning.

 When Naomi realises that there is nothing that connects the relationship with her daughter in laws, she asks them to leave. This is where the relationship is tested. When a relationship reaches that point, you see who is really there for you at that time and who will abandon you. Every relationship is tested; anything not tested is not worthy to be trusted.

Orpah kisses her goodbye and leaves. This shows that it wasn’t a genuine relationship. Orpah only cries because this was her source of life. Orpah abandoned the relationship because of the circumstance they were in. They are people in relationships that are ready to leave when times are tough and things turn sour. Orpah chose to turn her back on Naomi and gave up on the relationship.

Ruth clung to Naomi and says “Where you lodge I will lodge”. This shows her commitment and dedication to Naomi, she knows that Naomi is not in a good situation but sticks by her. Ruth says whatever Naomi goes through she will be there, she sees that this is a temporary situation and that Naomi is blessed.

Many people leave relationships because of the situation the person is in, that’s when you see the type of relationship. Relationships are not about how much you can get, but about how much you can give.

Ruth gave up her life with the Moab’s for the relationship she had with Naomi that is sacrifice and commitment to a relationship. Naomi then takes Ruth to her family. This is why we need to have a revelation about the relationship that will take us to our destiny.

The steps of a righteous man are ordered by God. Ruth positioned herself, was faithful and obedient to the relationship she had with Naomi. When they get to Bethlehem Judah, they find Boaz, Naomi’s brother in law, now in charge of everything.

 Boaz is a wealthy man, all things work together for good, Ruth worked in Boaz’s garden and Naomi arranged for Ruth to sleep at the feet of Boaz. Ruth positioned herself to get her blessing. Ruth and Boaz got married and had a child; they started a new stream of a blessed generation. This is how Jesus came to earth, through the stream of Ruth’s generation.

As people we need to realise that the life we live is the life of association. We need to walk with people who are in the book of records, people that are destined for great things. Only a few elite can achieve this. We need to walk with people that will leave a legacy and lay the foundations so that their children’s children will not suffer.

There are people that are blessed, when they come into your life you should take grab them, not let them go, by associating with them, you will also be blessed. Then there are people who are cursed, once they come into your life there are curses that affect you and passed on to you. Therefore we need to see which relationships will take us to our destinies. We need to discern if we are associating with blessed or cursed people. We need to be faithful and loyal in blessed relationships, enduring during hard times, for the rewards in the end.

Associating with the right people will open many doors and blessing in your life. Investing and enduring in a blessed relationship will someday make you enjoy the fruits in that relationship. After a closer examination of the above scripture we see that relationships undergo seasons, trials and testing times, but it’s not the time to give up on the relationship because things are not working out at that time.

Situations are subject to change, if this is the relationship that will take you to your destiny you have to be committed and not abandon it under any circumstance. Like Ruth who says “where you lodge I will lodge”, we need to have that type of love and faithfulness in those type of relationships. We must know that there are things we will lose and have to sacrifice for that relationship. We must understand that relationships are about giving and someday you will reap the benefits of being in the relationship. 

THE POWER OF CHANGE

What does change mean?

Change, adjust, bend, transform, revolutionize

The greatest gift that God can offer you is to push you into crisis of temporary discomfort that requires you to fly your wings –Pastor T. Ncanana

Our mentality is exposed to certain things, and then we think we are better- , what does this mean? According to our knowledge and perception we think and weigh things in that level. Our frame of reference which is our attitudes, values, mindset, and teachings, our experiences, are what forms or shapes our opinions.

If we don’t develop or challenge our lives to go to another level, we will never grow. This means that most of us need to get out of our comfort zones, do something that will challenge you and will make you uncomfortable. As long as you are comfortable you are on the same level.

 Each person as we have been saying in the past sermons is designed to be dependant, interdependent and eventually become independent. Like a baby eagle that firsts, it starts by depending on its mother for food and nurturing, at some point the mother eagle, get tired of feeding them and realise that it’s time for them to fly and bring their own food. So it makes the environment uncomfortable by putting thorns in the nest. By doing this, the baby eagles become uncomfortable and they are pushed to fly.

The same with us people, change comes through discomfort in the environment that we are in.  Situations that we go through force us to change and do something we’ve never done. “To get what you’ve never had, we have to do what we’ve never done”. Potential doesn’t just ooze out; it has to be pushed out, by challenges and situations. In the middle of a situation one must decide that this is not who they are and where they are going. Change always brings famine and a shift in the environment/ atmosphere. This is a sign that change is coming.

This calls for knowing the level that you are in and doing something to change your situation. If you resist change, you will pay the price. If we don’t obey or hear God, we will always remain in the same level, but in order to get something, you have to do something.

We need to adjust to change so that we can walk in to the promises of God and our season. Allowing change will let you receive the things God has for your life. God will always tell you to do something that will make you uncomfortable. When you look at your situation, you will think you cannot do this and you’ll ask how but God sees that you can. God would not demand something of you that you cannot do. 

STRUCTURED RELATIONSHIPS SERIES PART 1 - THE POWER OF RELATION

The series on relationships that we’ve started makes one look at their own lives and examine the relationships they have. Many people ignore the importance and power of relationships. Your relationships, or the way you relate, determine your success as a person. Relationships can affect you, depending on the type of relationships you have with people. Let us take a closer examination of this subject and check our own lives and ourselves.

“Relationships are the heart of the kingdom”, what does this mean? The Kingdom of God operates through relationships. Structures are created through relationships, we relate through relationships. The structure is the order of the house, those who have a close relationship with the man of God, the sons and daughters. Then there are those who relate as, ‘random church goers’, associates, friends of the church and so on. There are different levels of relation and set structures within the house of God. These structures create order in the house, so it’s important to understand relationships and how important they are in the kingdom. Everything is created and works through relationships.

You attract your own kind – the people that you relate with, show the kind of person that you are. The reason why you love certain people so much is because you see yourself in them and they are who you are. Everyone seeks to find someone or something that represents them in the world, be it in music, in celebrities and in role models. You are attracted to someone because you see you in them; you have a lot in common, think alike and complement each other. People are attracted to you because of who you are. You identify yourself in people you take interest in.

The inner court and outer court as referred to in the bible Ezekiel 40, speaks about the level of intimacy. The bible tells us about the holy of holies, the tabernacle, in which only the priests could enter, and God would make appearances. It was an intimate place covered by curtains, veil, it was God’s special dwelling place. So the same with relationships, we have relationships that are outer court relationships and relationships that are inner court relationships.

Types and Levels of relationships

Inner court relationships- would be people you let into your heart, people you love. When you let people come into your inner court, you become vulnerable, because they know your weak spots, your flaws, and your failures. The very same people that you let in can be dangerous to you, because of the knowledge they have. The only people capable of hurting you are those you let into your heart.

Inner court relationships- These are the people that you can trust with your life. These are people that are committed, loyal, honest, and truthful and would lay down their lives for you. These are people that you tell things that you wouldn’t tell someone you relate with at the outer court. These people can be your pillar of strength when you need them. This person know you at your weakest, they know you at your strongest. Not saying they will never disappoint you because the bible says cursed is the man who puts his trust in man. This is where patience and forgiveness comes in a relationship. If there’s a matter you resolve it quickly and hold no grudges. In this relationship you both lose things to benefit the other, you help each other. You correct each other and tell each other the right way, there’s respect love and understanding.

 You both make an effort as relationships are a 2way stream, you both give you best. This type of relationship you bring out the best in each other, correct each other to the right way as love does not rejoice in evil. You’re willing to make the sacrifice as love is an action word. You encourage and motivate each other, loving and caring. There are even things you joke about that are personal that won’t offend you but would offend you if it were someone from the outer court.

The outer court - is the people that you only relate with to a certain extent, acquaintances. These people are not very close to you, you may relate with them for many reasons. Work colleagues, partner in business, for whatever the course that connects you two.  It could also be friends that are not too close to you or it’s not a sincere or true friendship.

So as gatekeepers of our hearts, we decide who we let in. Most of us make the mistake of letting the wrong people into our hearts. We must first be able to weigh the relationship, see if it’s good or for us, before we let people into our inner courts. The reason why most of us get hurt and mistreated by people is because we let people that don’t sincerely care about us in our inner courts. Especially those you know you relate to a certain level and it stops there, those that are in the outer court. We must be careful being wise as serpent and humble as a dove.

Multitudes – Multitudes are the people that you don’t need. The people that come to you because of what they see and what you have. Like the multitude that followed Jesus because of the signs and wonders and because he gave them bread, there are people who relate with you, just for what you have. These are the people that you do not need in your life that will abandon you when days are dark. When you have many things that benefit people, are wealthy and doing well, you have many friends. Some of them are not there for you, so this is where you evaluate the relationship. This way you can filter out the multitudes.

Tests - In the previous sermons we’ve talked about, every relationship goes through tests. Everything in fact goes through tests, anything not tested is not worthy of use. When you go through a test in a relationship, that’s when the true characters are revealed. That’s when you get to see the intentions and the motives of a person. For instance if you’re going through a rough patch in your life and it seems like everything is going downhill, not many people will be there for you. Those who do not deny you during this time are people who don’t sincerely care for you.

Winter season- the winter season comes to dry out everything, and during this dry season there are leaves that fall off the tree. The same with you as person when you go through this winter season in your life, all the unnecessary people will fall off. Because you are not producing any fruit you will lose some ‘friends’ and those who are there for what you have. This is a tough season but it’s necessary to test the relationships you have and get rid of the people you don’t need in your life.

Vampires – Vampire relationships are very unhealthy and it’s hard to determine a person’s motives, but along the way, you pick up certain things and it has an effect on the relationship. Vampires are people that take anything they can from you. They are the people that come to you because they have something to gain. Vampires are takers and not givers; they leave you dry by taking advantage of you. These people use you and only expect things but are never willing to make the sacrifice. Vampires suck the life out of you, and leave you exhausted. This type of relationship is draining and it takes away your energy and passion, because you’re the only one trying to make it work.

As a result of being exhausted and drained, people create walls towards other people. If you’ve been hurt by people you tend to shut down and think that everyone is as insincere and it makes you insecure.

“A wounded animal is a dangerous animal”, because you have been hurt and mistreated by people, people have taken advantage of you, you push away anyone that comes close to you. It causes you to become defensive and you will never let down your guard and get to know someone, it causes you to be hard to get through to. All that we’ve been through as humans and people of God, is to make us wiser not bitter. So the important thing if you have been in those situations is to forgive and move on, letting the pain and resentment go.

But at the same to we must be wiser and smarter, be able to discern who’s here for the right reasons and who’s there to exploit you. So in that note it’s okay to pretend to people that you know are insincere and gossip behind your back. The bible teaches us to be kind, forgiving and gracious. This doesn’t mean that you should allow people to walk all over you; it just means you’re mature enough to be the bigger person.

 It also doesn’t mean once a true friend has hurt you that you shouldn’t forgive them, love covers all things and it keeps no records of wrongs. We all human and we make mistakes, you know when someone who really cares for you hurts you and they regret it. Although when the trust is broken it can drift you apart or the trial can make your relationship stronger.

It’s not what a person does that matters, it’s they do about it, if they apologise and really show remorse, there’s no reason for you to give up on the friendship. If they do nothing to reconcile and they have really betrayed you, then you have to be careful around that person, but still love them. It’s very hard to love everyone even though they’ve betrayed you and hurt you. But it takes a wise mature person to rise above this. It’s important to know that God wants to love through us, even when we can’t. Allow God to love his people through you, your love can never be enough.

The way that you relate with people shows your maturity as a person and is very important because it shows who you are. As a child of God it is important to acknowledge that we operate in love and take care of relationships. Relationships need nurturing, caring and attention. Not every relationship is vital or needed, some relationships are useless.

At the same time there are people that you meet, that will unlock the greatness in you. There are people you meet and you will never be the same again. These are the people in which your breakthrough and advancement lies. These are people that God has assigned to you, so that you reach your destiny, so that you unleash the potential you never knew you had. We all need those people in our lives.  You need that person will inspire you and drive you to become better and get our blessing. Connect with the connector and you will be connected. In order to get where you are going you will need someone, you will need that person. In this person your step forward and your possessions lye, you need to get close to that person and appreciate and honour them. God uses people and God speaks through people. God has assigned certain people for us so that his will about our lives will be done.

You need to ask yourself, why are we relating? If there relationship is not adding any value to your life, it’s probably a relationship you don’t need. At that point you will know that you only relate with that person to a certain level and it stops there.  So there has to be a cord that connects you in the relationship. If there’s no cord there’s nothing that connects you.

It’s important that you protect your heart and also guard your heart at the same time. Guard your heart in that you keep it pure and have a forgiving heart but don’t let everyone come into your heart, protect it.

Jesus grew in statue in favour with man and in favour with God. If we want to adopt the life of Christ and portray the life of Jesus, we need to know how to relate with people. When you associate with people of a higher level, show that you appreciate and honour them. If you associate with people that you are higher than, come down to their level and be able to relate with everyone on every level.